Growing up in Jonesboro, Ga., Lisa Rayner’s dad worked for Delta Airlines. She and her two sisters were being groomed to be the perfect Southern women. Their mother would dress them up in their Sunday best and fly all over the country. “My mother was a stewardess, but you couldn’t be a stewardess and be married.” So her mom had to quit her job. “It was a different time,” says Lisa.
The Rayners, a bevy of four Southern women, would go to Louisiana, Los Angeles, San Diego… you name it. People didn’t travel like that back then. “Daddy took on us adventures. He wanted us to experience things.”
“I still dress to fly even now,” says Rayner. “Daddy always had us on a 747 and I remember there was a bar upstairs and a compartment up front that sat five where we’d sit. I had my first taste of Champagne and lobster in first-class on Delta. When I was like 10 or 11 years old.”
Rayner, although born among Southern women in Jonesboro and a pageant girl, is a true Francophile. “I have an affection for everything French. Coco Chanel is my idol. I took French all through school.” When she was younger, Rayner felt she didn’t quite belong in Atlanta and eventually moved to Chicago and New York City after attending The University of Georgia.
However, she was confused when she didn’t get that “vibe” from any of the Northern metropolises where she moved. “But the minute I walked along the streets of Paris, I made sense. I finally felt at home and like myself,” she recalls.
“I don’t make excuses for the way I am,” says Lisa, who few have ever seen not wearing high heels and full makeup. “In fact, I’m taking French lessons again and polishing up my conversational French.”
Indeed, Rayner was supposed to go to Paris for her birthday last year when COVID-19 hit. Proving she is very Two-Sided Southern (and has a sense of humor about herself), she and her cousin and sister drove to Paris, Tennessee. It’s a town about 50 minutes from Nashville with a huge Eiffel Tower structure.
“We pulled up in Range Rover with berets and Veuve Clicquot. People were probably like ‘Who are these women?’ There was a Splash pad on one side and a playground on the other and in between was this big Eiffel Tower,” she says with a laugh. “It was perfect! It was a COVID Paris birthday.”
Here, Rayner answers a few questions about Southern women, her favorite dish and how being a trophy wife three times over inspired her book manuscript. This is my favorite line from her book: “I might seem like a shiny trophy to possess and admire, but in reality, it’s dark in the shadows when you’re all alone on the shelf.”:
What do you think makes you so Two-Sided Southern?
Perhaps James Dickey said it best: “Anyone who wants to get to know the South should get to know her women. They are tough, loving, frail and powerful. They hold so many of our best kept secrets.”
What do you do for a living?
I am a writer, a poet and a journalist at heart and a PR professional by trade.
A self-proclaimed fashionista, I have worked as a reporter for a local paper, a special events coordinator for a major department store, a Public Information Officer, and the Director of the 50th Anniversary of Gone With The Wind for Turner Home Entertainment. From there, I was instrumental in preservation of downtown development, saving houses and historic places in Fayette County. I moved to New York City where I practiced fashion PR as well as serving as a publicist and working alongside my then husband on his entertainment show for CNN. Also, for the Woodstock Film Festival, I pulled together the movie parties as well as the opening and closing parties.
I have chaired or attended many charity and social events in Atlanta, as well as creating special events for Modern Luxury Media for a while. Along the way, I have met many famous and not so famous (but fabulous!) people. I have worked on opening restaurants and closing chapters. Currently I am a publicist by day and a writer by night.
I wrote my first poem at the age of seven and have been writing ever since. I am currently working on two manuscripts as well as a screenplay based on my manuscript: Shelf Life of a Trophy Wife.
Did anything about growing up in the South inform being a writer?
The first question I like to ask a person upon meeting them, is ‘Where were you born?’ I think that where you were born and raised has so much to do with your perspective on life and love and the way you see the world. Growing up in the South, I was blessed with a stay-at-home mother who created a picture-perfect life for three little girls. I was also blessed with the intelligence to know that the real world was quite different. The key is to find the balance between the two. I was able to observe and write not only from my experiences, but from the knowledge I gained from our travels. Having a Southern voice is instrumental in everything I write.
Do you have to use your Southern charm in your work?
The key ingredient to public relations is charm. What made me successful was my Southerness.
Where did you grow up?
I was born in Atlanta, Ga., and grew up a “Delta Brat” in Jonesboro. We were fortunate to be able to travel and would spend summers at the beach, horseback riding in Baton Rouge or visiting relatives in San Diego. But every holiday was spent in Alpharetta at my paternal grandparents’ 400-acrea farm. It’s probably a mall or a neighborhood now.
Where do you live now?
I live in Athens, Ga., in an 1850’s mill on the Oconee River that has been turned into lofts.
When you were younger, what did you want to be?
I have always wanted to be a writer, but fashion was my passion. There was also a secret side of me, that wanted to be a scientist. Very Two-Sided of me.
Do you monogram things like other Southern women tend to do?
I adore a good monogram, but after so many marriages, I have discovered that monograms come and go. The items remain the same. I monogram linen napkins, anything silver, but I have a collection of silver mint julep cups that are my favorite!
Are there any southern women interior designers you long admire?
I adore Danielle Rollins, and not just because she is a friend. She has a very Southern style that transcends our borders.
What about Southern fashion industry folks?
I am not very Southern when it comes to fashion. For instance, I am not the preppy Draper James type. I have always been drawn to a classic black dress, but with a twist. This is why I love Dolce & Gabanna or Donna Karan. When I lived in New York City, I was fortunate to work with Cynthia Steffe, who trained under Ms. Karan before she set out to do her own line. She was classic, but feminine, which I found to be very Southern in taste. Quite unexpected from a designer who was born in Sioux City, Iowa.
Favorite high-end, hoity toity appetizer: Caviar
Best Southern appetizer: Pimento cheese
Favorite high-end, hoity toity dessert or sweet: I don’t eat desserts… but when I host a dinner party, I love to serve a tower of different treats from dark chocolates to lemon bars.
Favorite low-brow dessert or sweet: Goetze’s caramel cremes. The only candy I ever buy for myself. I even have an original piece of art of the candy. It is one of my favorites since it brings me back to my childhood.
Favorite high-brow restaurant: Le Cirque in New York City, which is sadly closed. Or The Ivy in L.A.
Favorite low-brow restaurant: Any BBQ place.
Southern appetizer you always serve at dinner parties: Cheese straws
High-brown appetizer you always serve at dinner parties: Caviar on deviled eggs
Do you believe in thank you notes as a rule? Hello… YES!
If you bring someone a casserole who is sick, just had a baby, family member died, what is your tried-and-true casserole: Chicken and dumplings
Favorite sports team: Go Dawgs! UGA Bulldogs, my alma mata.
Favorite drink at a tailgate: Define tailgate? Wherever I am, the answer is always the same… Champagne.
Favorite high-brow entertainment: I love plays. Not musicals, but a proper play.
Favorite low-brow entertainment: Watching a movie on a plane
Most eccentric southern person you know:
Jan Hooks, who has sadly passed. She was an Atlanta actress on the “Tush Show,” “Saturday Night Live” and “Designing Women.” She was as brilliant as she was flawed. Also Billy Bob Thornton. He’s as Two-Sided Southern as they come. An amazing writer, he exaggerates his Southernness to his own advantage. He’s really quite captivating. Again, brilliant yet flawed.
What are some misconceptions you’ve encountered about Southern women?
People think we are pushovers because we take our time to decide whether or not we want to say what we are really thinking. When in fact, we are deciding whether or not to be polite as we were taught, or to be truthful…
